NEWSBREAK – DATE LINE – WISCONSIN – November 1, 2011
As men and women all over the Badger state lay down their heads on October 31, they know not what new horrors await them come November 1, 2011. In the wee hours of the morning, unbeknownst to most of them, as the ghouls and goblins go about their hauntings, yet another ghostly menace arrives on their doorstep, ready to wreak terror into the hearts of many. Yes, a new menace arrives – the “phantom vehicle” menace.
No longer will the good citizens of the land of the Muskellunge be able to simply rely on the good nature of their fellow Badger fans to provide independent third parties’ testimony as proof of when the phantom strikes. No, their good word no longer will be sufficient. New horrors, trials and tribulations await for each and every victim of the phantom vehicle menace!
Within a mere three days of the phantom attack, each victim that wishes to pursue a claim must report the incident to the authorities, those same authorities that purport to protect them against these phantoms to no avail! The irony! The horror! And yet there’s more! Within thirty days the very victim must submit to the dreaded statement under oath – no less an inquiry, or verily, an inquisition – reliving the horrific events of the day again just to aver a cause of action against the “phantom vehicle menace”!
The work of evil goblins or a cruel hoax put upon the good folk of the mourning dove and the honey bee? No. Just the latest in attempts by the masters and protectors of the red granite state to curb that fraud known as the “phantom vehicle”.
Have a happy and safe Halloween.
